Subpoenas Envy

It’s always a pleasure to go off island and visit other areas of this lovely country. Except in the first week of November. Apparently there is such a blue lockdown in Manhattan, we are spared most of the negative attack ads of a political season. Or our mayor, Michael Bloomberg, who bought the office fair and square, thank you very much, thinks the sulfurous ads are as toxic as second hand smoke and he just won’t have it.
The ads are ubiquitous and a giant soul sucking waste of money and civic good sense. It’s terrifying to be alone in a Day’s Inn for a rainy afternoon, with only bilious, lying regional campaign ads and insipid national election “coverage.” I am forced to watch Rachel Ray hyperventilate over transfats. Which Michael Bloomberg doesn’t like either.
But it’s hard to bum out a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. The Scottsdale Performing Arts Center is a gem of a theater. There, I was part of their subscription series, so my longtime fans came down off their mesas and the local snowbird theatergoers come for a night of mixed audience pleasure. Straight and gay, young and old, liberal and not-so-much. It’s as the world should be. The Rialto Theater in Tucson is an old porn theater and the vibes from that always make for a raunchier show, no matter what I do. Thank goodness. The crowd was grand and anything I said about Scottsdale to them wasn’t’ true, if any Scottsdalian is reading this. There certainly was plenty to talk about in Arizona with their Prop 107 against gay marriage, their border issues, their proposition on second hand smoke. They have a governor they can be justly proud of – Janet Napolitano. She is a national treasure.
Amazingly enough, I am off to Africa with my galpal for ten days. She has work in Kenya with her new job as executive director of the Arcus Foundation, which focuses on GLBT civil rights and the preservation of the great apes. It’s all connected. If in doubt, check out the bonobos, our gay ancestors. While it’s a crazy time in my tour, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go with her. We’ll be out of the country on election day – we’ve done our absentee ballots, not to worry – but are confident that when we return, they will still be mis-counting the ballots. Here’s to the take back of at least one branch of government!! One out of three ain’t bad. I’ve got subpoenas envy!!