DC 911

Quick! Is the line, “No one does a better job of not doing their job better,” a description of the Bush “Administration” or an ad for Reno 911? What’s the matter? Having a hard time with the image of Karl Rove in tight tight state trooper short shorts? Or Harriet Miers, pointing her glock and squawking “Fire ‘em all”? Or Alberto Gonzalez, who always looks like he’s laughing at us, behind his mirrored trooper sunglasses, snarling, “I serve at the pleasure of the President.”
If you guessed Reno 911, you would be right, but there was that nano-sec of doubt, wasn’t there?
Comedy Central’s hilarious updated version of the Keystone Cops actually seem competent by comparison. The private firm that was hired by the feds to erect the seven hundred mile border fence was recently busted for using illegal immigrant workers. If I were in charge, I would build a sixteen lane highway along the border with lots of on and off ramps. On patrol, I’d be wearing knee-length multipocketed shorts, driving a Prius and I’d be dragging Lou Dobbs. Could we just put the fence around the White House?
If the presidential election were held tomorrow, we’d save a lot of money. The first quarter results of the big obscene presidential money race are in and if you combine the amount the Democrats and Republicans have extorted, we could pay off a year of student loans for everyone, start to rebuild the Katrina ravaged south, and still have some cash left over for that big victory celebration, Bush/Cheney are planning in Iraq.
The election is nineteen months away and the whole thing sounds like some tiresome fantasy sport race. Let me know when it’s over. The Bush Legacy is Clean Up on Aisle 5. After eight years of the Bush mess, everybody has to work.
I’ve got dibs on a job already. I’ve called all my woo-woo galpals, bundled up the necessary herbs and written a ritual modeled on the recent Mayan saging of Machu Pichu. If and when Bush leaves we will be ready to sage the White House. We call it Macho P.U. We serve at the displeasure of the president.