We, The Corporation

When the Supremes ruled 5-4 in Citizens United v. The Federal Election Commission – AKA Capitalism v. Democracy – I got that old familiar cement block on sternum feeling of despair that I haven’t had since Bush v. Gore, another vote from our resident terrorist cell #5.

According to the ruling, corporations can spend unlimited funds on political advertising in any political election. Or they can just threaten to. What candidate wants to piss off Citibank by saying, “If you’re too big to fail, you’re not too big to be regulated.”

The Supremest, Chief Umpire John Roberts, who claimed in his confirmation hearing that his job is just to call balls and strikes, threw the entire game, along with judicial restraint and precedent. He must be on the take from someone. Oh right. Corporations.

In one of the biggest insults to personhood ever, the Roberts’ Court ruled that corporations are the same as people and therefore have the right to free speech. The “and those people are mostly straight white males” was understood.

That my darling LGBT community thinks that by the strength of our incredible, obvious logic, we will be able to sway this willfully illogical, camera-shy Supreme Court to see the unconstitutionality of CA’s Prop 8 is poignant.

May they prove me wrong.