UnknownFor weeks I have been meeting with my advisors to outline ways for Hillary to run against Donald Trump.

Never finish a sentence.

Sow doubt:
If Trump was actually born on this planet. . .
If Trump really was a good father . . .
If that really is his golf handicap . . .
If he really doesn’t test positive for . . .

We need a fuller, snappier list of nicknames for Trump:
What we have so far:
Hand-job ho
ISIS recruiter
Rectal prolapse

Hillary should always refer to Trump’s buildings as ‘your erections’. Then demand that he show his penis saying, “America has a right to know.” Then disinfect Hillary’s podium.

Immediately name Ryan Seacrest as Hillary’s running mate.

Though Trump has nearly killed satire, we need a satirical group like the Reagan era “Ladies Against Women”, or the Billionaires for Bush. First suggestion was a group of women who would begin to keen loudly whenever Trump speaks. But there are no metal detectors