CommuniKate: Blog Archives
« K8T Asks: Under what circumstances should George Bush ever be allowed to talk about "intelligence"? | Main | K8T Asks: If you were a beauty pageant contestant, what clever ploy would you use to get yourself some extra press? »
December 14, 2007
I Don’t Heart Huckabee
For my high school graduation, I asked for and received a doctor’s supervised diet. After the weigh-in and the weekly shot of “vitamins”, my doctor, who was later disbarred for amphetamine abuse, gave me a thought for the week. One week his homily was about the flames of hell. He told me that they burned very verily hot because of all the fat.
People have a grudging respect for Bush because he’s been able to maintain his weight for seven years. That’s all he’s been able to maintain. Remember all the hooting at the pictures of Bill Clinton in his jogging shorts? Now that he has a perfect body mass index, he is internationally beloved.
Primary voters can say what they want, but the reason they like Huckabee is that he lost one hundred pounds. You can never be too thin or too insane. On foreign and economic policy he is a lightweight, but the spirit of a fat guy is still in him. Not Santa. No. Jerry Falwell might have blowed up real good and died, but his ideas are alive and well in the reverend Huckabee.
Forget the homophobia once removed of the debate on gay marriage. The rev goes right for the gays. Though it pains him to say it, he must say that homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle. He’s dragging out that claptrap about love the sinner: hate the sin. And don’t kid yourself, he hates them both, the sinner and the sin. For him, quarantining people with HIV is not a matter of homophobia. It’s a matter of public health and safety. Don’t do me any favors, former fat boy.
One undecided voter in Iowa said that Huckabee lost her vote when he scoffed that there is no global warming in Iowa. She said they used to have snow, now they just have ice storms. Her business, Bees of Iowa, has been harmed by the global warming.
Although I am a secular fundamentalist, tonight before I go to sleep, I am going to eat two Twinkies and pray for a Huckabee Colony Collapse.
Comments
Huckabee has to gang up on the LGBT community to show us what a real man he is. If he has to pick on a group of American citizens why doesn't he pick a group that has the same rights, benefits & protections as he has? For the truth about gay marriage check out our trailer. Produced to educate & defuse the controversy it has a way of opening closed minds & creates an interesting spin on the issue: www.OUTTAKEonline.com The truth will set them free…
Posted by: Charlotte | December 14, 2007 03:02 PM
Categories
Archives
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- February 2006
- January 2006
- November 2005
- September 2005
- August 2005
Search
Join CommuniKate
KateMart
All of Kate's DVDs, CDs, books, and other merch - it's a one-stop shop! Stay warm and cozy this winter with all-new Hilarity Clinton '08 apparel. We've also whipped up tons of new items, including a 2008 Kate Clinton "Resolutions" calendar and an "I'm for Hillary" coffee mug. Visit KateMart.
Booking & Publicity
If you're interested in booking Kate, or if you're looking for a press kit, or high-res photos and logos, come check out the Booking & Publicity section. You'll find everything you need, including complete contact details.