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August 25, 2008
Welcome Back!!
Who do you think Obama should choose as his running mate and why? ps. I will not accept
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August 19, 2008
Truth or Mercy?
Hi, Kate:
In interpersonal "situations," which is the higher virtue, truth or mercy?
Again, no pressure, mentor!
Sharon
St. Louis, MO
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Sharon,
In my personal situation room truth has the big comfy chair and mercy is sometimes allowed in to vacuum after a tete a tete. It's just better that way. I don't remember much anymore and I have a better chance if I tell the truth.
"Does this make me look fat?" causes Mercy to knock on the door with her broom handle, but that's when I launch into a truthful, if impersonal, dissertation on stripes.
Next time, be a little more truthful with your "no pressures."
Best,
Kate
August 18, 2008
Infrequent Flier Smiles
I am pleased to announce, I have accrued no frequent flier miles this month of August. I have filled my 1998 Jeep’s gas tank once and that was because there is something wrong with the gas gauge and John, my mechanic’s fix was, “Aw, just don’t let it go under half a tank and you’ll be fine.” I have enough frequent biker miles to get new flip-flops. But mine are perfectly grooved to my feet. I have a very small carbon footprint.
My road most traveled is from my house in the mid-west end of old Provincetown either to work, to the post office, to the beach, to the dunes. I bought my bike years ago at a year end Ptown Bikes sale. It is still labeled #10 for their rental records. It has big sturdy handlebars, a big bike seat that absorbs all rain. It has one speed – me. The brakes are in the pedals. I share the bike with my neighbor. Sometimes he sprays WD40 on the rusting chain. He rides it all winter. Old Number Ten we call it. It has outlasted two other fancy schmantzy over-geared bikes, ruined by salt air and sand.
My un-mapquested route to work, takes me by my neighbor Gordon, the town barber sitting on his deck. “Hi, Katie,” he says, “have a good show, dahlin.” I’m Katie to all the old Ptown Portuguese guys. I ride by my favorite Tips for Tops’n restaurant/commissary where his wife is the cashier, and breathe in the fried scallops as I pass.
With the gorgeous bay glinting with less and less light each evening, I turn onto Commercial Street. Past late caffeine crowds at Joe’s Coffee; the West End Salon bubble machine doing its Lawrence Welk best; nearly naked boys doing last minute flyering outside the thumping music from the Boat-slip t-dance; past Spiritus with returning, starving beach bunnies carbo-loading pizza just to get to their guest houses; past early birders at Front Street; past little kids in the tiniest crocs picking through intriguing sale bins outside the Army/Navy Store; past the barkers for shows at the Unitarian Church and on into the entertainment complex of The Crown and Anchor. It takes me five minutes to get to work, if I don’t stop to talk with anyone.
Now when I come out from my shows, the sun has already set. The sky is often pyrotechnically pastel on the Pilgrim monument. We are heading into the big Carnival and Labor Day weeks, two weeks of flat out fun for tourists and the last laps for tired workers. Back to school ads have been out for weeks. The nights are cool. I am experiencing that unnatural fondness for knee socks that just the word September brings.
August 17, 2008
The Rodney Dangerfield of Nations
George has enough accumulated sick days to go on vacation, call the home office from the ranch and say he is not coming back. But no.
Now he has a big conflict with his old “I looked him in the eye” friend, Russia’s self-appointed premier, Vlad Putin. In my house, we had been expecting the traditional August surprise, but had been looking Iran-ward. George might just do like Putin, who looked him in the eye and saw right to the back of his head, and declare himself the U.S. Premier. I would not put it past him. That Constitution has been nothing but an inconvenience.
George is fresh from the Chinese Olympics, brought to us by our own credit card debt. With not one little toenail left on his moral footprint, still president-erect from cruising the Olympic beach volleyball babes, and hectoring China on their human rights abuses, there was our Spectator-in-Chief excoriating Russia for its preemptive strike into Georgia. You could practically hear the world snorting, or maybe it was me. One Russian general awaiting his marching orders announced, “If the US can take Baghdad, we can take Tbilisi.”
Putin’s punishing Georgian incursion and Ossetian obsession gave broadcasters a chance to brush off their use of “hegemonics” again, but it is much easier to say “oil”. This is Putin’s version of George’s off-shore drilling. Our nation’s pusher in our addiction to oil never mentions compassionate conservation. And I do not mean bailing out arrogant, short-sighted auto industry executives whose S.U.V.s are now S.V.U.s and are somehow to be congratulated for finally making fuel-semi-efficient cars. McCain, Bush’s Second Life avatar, scornfully reduced Obama’s wide-ranging list of conservation options to tire pressure. Think Carter’s cardigan.
When your situation room is the resort town of Provincetown in August, it is difficult to try to convey the seriousness of these developments to vacationers. It is also perhaps cruel. One sunbathing woman overhearing my shrill news on the beach, thought Russia had invaded the state of Georgia and said, “If they can fix the Atlanta airport, I’m all for it. Give them Florida.”
While it is Bear Week in Russia, here in Provincetown we are approaching our last big theme weekend of the summer, Carnival. This year’s carnival theme is “Wild, Wild West”. It is a great party, but I am dreading the Chaps R Us, Brokeback Mountain variations, and the inevitable, impolitic cowboy and Indian gaffes. Or maybe I am just projecting to the upcoming wilding at Denver’s Democratic convention. Meantime I am off to get together my Annie Oakley outfit.
August 06, 2008
Don't Hold Your Breath
I have my Summer Olympics Tivo set for Dara Torres. No pressure. I am gay for Dara. I know she wants me. The Natatorium is an indoor venue isn’t it? All those new billion dollar Chinese sports complexes look like gossamer, erector sets in the hands of young methed architects. I do not want my slightly asthmatic, darling Dara sucking in bad air in her freestyle sprints , or her goggles getting all smogged up. Unless I do it.
Gray skies are gonna clear up. Not really. No matter how many odd/even car use days the Chinese government imposes or how many southern factories they shut down, they cannot do anything about the sandy particulate blowing in from the fourth largest dessert, the Gobi. Get out those old Gobi boots. It is deep.
Put on a happy face. George has left the country to attend the Summer Olympics; it is #29 on his Bucket List. We are told he is attending just as a spectator. How else would he attend? As a competitor? Although who would not want to see someone broadside him in a BMX open field event? Can’t wait to see him high-fiving President Hu Jintao in the stands – “Heckuva job, Hooey.” I am already sick of Bob Costas.
While Barack Obama was on his Olympian tour, and the crowds were going wild because he was not Bush, John McScary hired some old Rovians for his Presidential “Embrace Your Extinction” Tour. Within days the Straight Talk Express became the “I Know You Are, But What Am I?” Digress. They dragged out Paris Hilton, Britney Spears. In addition to accusing Obama of personally running up gas prices and losing the war, they accused Obama of being black and running for president. So far they have stopped short of calling him an uppity Negro who does not know his place. So far.
While the Bread and Circus Product Placement Olympi-ad mercifully distracts some from crashing banks, anthrax cover-ups and sub-penis envy, I am doing last minute lobbying of OOC for larger time clock numbers at the pool for my myopic 41 year old naiad shero. Let the Games begin.
August 01, 2008
Gay President
Which do you think America will see first:? a gay President or a female
President?? (And wouldn't it be cool if those adjectives weren't mutually
exclusive in a candidate!)
Char,
I think after what Larry Kramer has been researching about Abe Lincoln that there were areas in Abe's life in which he was not completely honest. We have all been there. So I think we will see a woman sooner than an openly gay president. I hope she's a Democrat!!
I'm busy. Sorry.
Best,
Kate
Love your humor.
Char
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