CommuniKate: Blog Archives
April 11, 2007
A Great Anniversary It Was!
‘Tis the season of bizarrely colored egg salad. It’s delish of course, but I tend to look away at the approach to my mouth. Not in a shunning way, all creatures great and small after all, but more in a distracted “wow, look at how much I owe in taxes, why don’t I just buy a Humvee and armorize it myself?” way.
And I owe all those taxes because of the success of our 25th Anniversary “It’s Come to This Tour.” Beware when your Turbo Tax program crunches the numbers and the final report begins with a laugh track and a flashing, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” If I could just earmark it to women’s healthcare, early childhood education or a Scarlet Knights scholarship fund.
The last show of our tour was in Denver, Colorado at the wonderful Gothic Theater. It was on Good Friday of Passion Week. Ironically, it came to that. I gave it my all and it wasn’t just a good Friday, it was the best. It was mile high. As she has for almost 22 years, the lovely and talented maven of Maven Productions, Nona Gandleman brought me to the Rockies and produced a sold-out, standing room only blast of a night. They were scalping tickets! I love those Rockettes.
It was my last show with the sponsorship of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. I’ll thank them again at their big 30th Anniversary gala on May 12th in San Fransisters, and always. [think about coming to their gala – it’s a sea of leggy women in black cocktail dresses, yum] NCLR’s early and unconditional support made the tour even more special. As a bonus, at different stops on the tour, I got to hang out with my brilliant, dynamic sister Kate Kendall, the executive director. Other hard-working NCLR staff joined me on the road at events during the year. If you want maximum bang for your buck, join NCLR. And dearies, it’s tax deductible!
A special thanks to my hard working booking agent, Tam Martin, my own Velvet Hammer, who stylishly represented me and our million details to producers. And a special thanks to my indefatigable publicist/promoter, Michele Karlsberg who helped producers get people in the seats by dragging me out of the Dark Ages of Mimeograph into the New Dawn [for me] of websites and MySpace. I am very proud and honored by their work.
We’re not stopping! We are already into the second quarter of the Climate Change Tour. The climate is changing! Next season of April flowers and taxes, I hope we will be closer to peace dividends and more women in power and that someone will finally have pointed out that Don Imus has absolutely no right to speak of anyone else’s hair.
January 06, 2007
Happy New Queer
According to the liturgical calendar, January 6 is the Epiphany. You’re wondering, “Did Kate make some New Year’s resolution regarding the Catholic Church we should know about?” Not to worry, I didn’t. If I did make one for the dear church, it would be that they get independent auditors. Actually I don’t think it’s good form to disclose resolutions, except to say that mine has something to do with George Clooney. Enough said.
The Epiphany has always had a warm place in my heart. In my youth, January 6 in Buffalo, New York was generally a day of sub-zero temperatures, walking to school in the dark, layered in pre-Polartech lumpiness, grumpy that vacation was over. They said I was moody child. As in: I had moods. In my non-youth in the Northeast, the cherry blossoms are in bloom in DC, trees are budding in NYC and some crocuses are up in Provincetown.
The Epiphany is the day when the three wise men, using a very early version of the Magellan GPI, finally made it to see Jesus. Holiday traffic. Oy. He was almost two weeks old, still lying in the manger. Insurance allowed longer stays back then. They brought gifts which they had wisely purchased in the after-Christmas sales. Jesus, always the precocious host, showed himself to the Wise Men as the son of god. It was Jesus’ Coming Out Party! No wonder I liked it.
I’ll be celebrating Epiphany here in NYC, back after ten glorious holi-days in Provincetown. In Ptown, the internet server wasn’t speaking to our computers. My new Palm Treo had the wrong operating system. Basic cable was basic. It was glorious. Lots of Scrabble. I lost the Holiday Tournament, condolences gratefully accepted. Dune walks. Lots of cooking. After two hideous winters, most of the year round Ptowners who could, have decamped to the dangle of Florida. It was quiet. We missed the endless loop of details on the bizarre year end festival of death – James Brown, Gerry Ford [who like another Republican, was never elected president and had a fondness for all things Cheney and Rummy], Saddam Hussein.
It’s Epiphany and it’s time to come out again after a warm hibernation. As the Godfather sang, “I’m gonna get up and do my thing”. He also sang, “This is a Man’s World” and “Sex Machine” but they weren’t brought up so much at the observances. An ice shelf the size of Manhattan broke off the Arctic shelf. George is fixing to surge the troops forward. He’s the decider. The MA legislature will put gay marriage to a ballot vote, thank you very much, Mitt Mitt full of shit. PS: did I tell you he is running for Prez? Devaul Patrick’s inauguration was blissful. Madame Pelosi has been installed with great joy and promise. Hillary is gearing up. Obama is ubiquitous. Say it loud. But say it. Happy New Queer.
December 13, 2006
Watch for Climate Change!
I’ve been so busy reading the Iraq Study Group report, I fear I have neglected my tour briefings. Although I seem to be in the minority, I did have an exit strategy for my 25th Tour of duty and, honeys, I’m sitting pretty at my desk in rainy New York City on a Wednesday morning. I wish the same safe and soon return for all our soldiers.
We had a hugely, and I mean hugely, successful Thanksgiving with the Clinton/Vaid family. Urvashi’s spicy Indian side dishes more than made up for the festival of white people turkeystuffingmashpotato bland meal. A meal you do not chew. We had twenty-three here gumming dinner and still don’t know how we fit them all in our little living room. The bad weather on parade day forced the balloons to be flown at less than half staff, so Sponge Bob and Dora all went by like they were looking for a contact.
After days of leftovers and their many iterations, I headed off to LA for the final three shows of the tour. It came to that. On Thursday, my pals Leslie Belzberg, Curt Sheppard and Alan Hergott hosted a smashing cocktail party for NCLR in the Hollywood Hills. Andrea Meyerson, who had started the tour off with a bang in Long Beach [see January blog – “Andrea Meyerson starts tour off with bang”] produced my last shows with Jon Imparato and the lovely staff at The Village Theater at the LGBT Center.
After a celebratory end of tour giving-thanks and praise brunch with the irrepressibles, Michele Karlsberg and Tam Martin – aka Team Clinton – we did our last show on Sunday. My girlfriend was in the audience and heckled throughout. She’s eager to have me home. It could happen.
On Monday night, after a day with my dear god-daughter Sophie Belzberg, who cleaned my clock in a burping contest, I flew the red eye – have I told you how much I love Ambien? – to Columbus Isles for a year end, off continent gig with the Oliviettes. It was lovely to spend time with my sista comics – Jennie McNulty, Dana Goldberg, Lisa Koch and Julie Goldman. Our impromptu synchronized swimming show, choreographed by the multi-talented Rachel “B’Tinah” Friedman was a crowd pleaser and photos of same will appear in an upcoming newsletter.
This last tour missive comes from Manhattan, where I am preparing for my favorite Solstice observation – Blessed Dykes Night, the longest night of the year. You know what to do. Make me proud. I’m also writing year end checks to my favorite organizations – one of them certainly is my beloved tour sponsor, NCLR.
Thanks for all your support. I am going into fallow mode, winter hibernation, even though it is sixty degress and tulips are coming up. See you in 2007 for the just-in-time “Climate Change Tour”!
November 20, 2006
Borat Obama: Cultural learnings of Africa
Our African sojourn was amazing. Understatement. We got initial election news from CNN when we landed in the Nairobi airport. Just the news of House victory made us jubilant! Kenyans in the airport were happy for us and for themselves. Many African countries haven't been able to get US aid for six years if there is any mention of condoms or contraceptives in their grant proposals. And they are all excited that one day a man of Kenyan descent, Barack Obama will be president of the US. Maybe he'll persuade them to repeal their law making homosexuality illegal. South Africa leads the way!
Shortly after we landed, we flew north into the Rift Valley, out of further internet contact, although on my birthday, we did get the news on a faint signal on my gal's international blackberry service, that Donald Rumsfeld had resigned! What a lovely gift. I'd leave the country again if it meant that W would be put on trial before the International War Crimes Tribunal. Impeachment is too good for him.
After two days, we flew south to the Ol Pejata Conservancy and there saw some serious flora and fauna - lions, dik-diks [no not that kind], elephants, rhinos, hippos, cheetah, zebra, giraffe and gorgeous birds to make my amateur birding heart so happy! We flew to Rwanda and had the amazing opportunity to trek and see mountain gorillas in the wild. Africa is stunning and you can just see why those chilled white Europeans just had to have it. It's a lesson in the long range effects of colonization and makes Iraq look even quaggier.
We arrived back in NYC on Wednesday afternoon and as usual the hardest part was getting from JFK to the upper West Side. After unpacking, laundry and repacking, I was off to two nights of shows in West Palm Beach. The shows started just about the time the jet lag hit, but the audiences were happy and cheered by the recent elections. Good on Arizona for defeating their draconian anti-gay initiative and South Dakota for defeating the anti-choice initiative. I look forward to that night when that gnarly little guy opens the door for the State of the Union Address and says, "Madame Speaker."
There's lots more work to do - cutting and running as soon as possible, for example - and even though you all are about a week ahead of me in gloating, I am catching up. We have lots to be thankful for - Britney dumped Kevin Fed-ex; TomKat got married [because they can]; we had some long-awaited electoral victories. We've got 25 coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, so I better go. But first I have to dig out my "Too Full to Fuck" t-shirt.
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm grateful for you and for my job!
November 08, 2006
Subpoenas Envy
It’s always a pleasure to go off island and visit other areas of this lovely country. Except in the first week of November. Apparently there is such a blue lockdown in Manhattan, we are spared most of the negative attack ads of a political season. Or our mayor, Michael Bloomberg, who bought the office fair and square, thank you very much, thinks the sulfurous ads are as toxic as second hand smoke and he just won’t have it.
The ads are ubiquitous and a giant soul sucking waste of money and civic good sense. It’s terrifying to be alone in a Day’s Inn for a rainy afternoon, with only bilious, lying regional campaign ads and insipid national election “coverage.” I am forced to watch Rachel Ray hyperventilate over transfats. Which Michael Bloomberg doesn’t like either.
But it’s hard to bum out a trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. The Scottsdale Performing Arts Center is a gem of a theater. There, I was part of their subscription series, so my longtime fans came down off their mesas and the local snowbird theatergoers come for a night of mixed audience pleasure. Straight and gay, young and old, liberal and not-so-much. It’s as the world should be. The Rialto Theater in Tucson is an old porn theater and the vibes from that always make for a raunchier show, no matter what I do. Thank goodness. The crowd was grand and anything I said about Scottsdale to them wasn’t’ true, if any Scottsdalian is reading this. There certainly was plenty to talk about in Arizona with their Prop 107 against gay marriage, their border issues, their proposition on second hand smoke. They have a governor they can be justly proud of - Janet Napolitano. She is a national treasure.
Amazingly enough, I am off to Africa with my galpal for ten days. She has work in Kenya with her new job as executive director of the Arcus Foundation, which focuses on GLBT civil rights and the preservation of the great apes. It’s all connected. If in doubt, check out the bonobos, our gay ancestors. While it’s a crazy time in my tour, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go with her. We’ll be out of the country on election day – we’ve done our absentee ballots, not to worry – but are confident that when we return, they will still be mis-counting the ballots. Here’s to the take back of at least one branch of government!! One out of three ain’t bad. I’ve got subpoenas envy!!
November 01, 2006
Bush Fatique, not the good kind
All Saint's Day and I'm just hanging around the house, waiting for a call from the Vatican about a possible canonization process for myself.
We had a great time with the live forum on line. Never before was I so happy to have paid attention in typing class. We didn't have typewriters, hey it was a Catholic school. We had these little sheets, pseudo-pads, that we could pound our little fingers on. Each day we drew two raffle numbers to select which lucky steno to be would get to use the real IBM Selectric. Those lucky students would get to take the plastic cover off the two donated machines and use them for the class. The rest of us had qwertyuiop envy. And you wonder why I wait for the call from the Vatican.
Just back from the left coast of Florida. Had a lovely time with the fine folks in Sarasota. When I finally got there. You try flying out of LGA in a rain and wind storm So I didn't. I had a lovely time taxi-ing out to JFK and sitting in the leaking Delta terminal for a few hours. All the tsuris made the fun of Sarasota sweeter. The show was a benefit for ALSO OUT the gay hotline and center for gay youth of the area. Candace Sorenson, the new executive director, and a Brooklyn native, has got the joint hopping and the services expanding.
After a lovely brunch to raise awareness of the work of ALSO, well attended because Candace told them to be there, it was off to Clearwater. The show there was held in the lovely Octagon shaped Unitarian Universalist Church. Kris Temple, the producer has lots of wonderful shows planned for the Octagon House season and my show was the kick-off. It was a wonderful raucous crowd. Before the show, I said a little prayer of thanks to the Unit. Those Unitarian churches have always been supportive of us.
Got back to NYC just in time to attend the 11th Annual Sage Dinner and give a Lifetime Achievement award to my friend, the philanthropist and great supporter of In The Life, Henry VanAmeringen. The very courtly Henry was gracious and very embarrassed to be there.
The dinner talk was of course all about the midterm elections. I am trying to be very pessimistic, so I won't be disappointed again. Call me crazy but I don't trust those GOPers and their voting machines farther than I can throw them. If the American people really do vote GOP again, then they are sheep and I'm going to start mixing up the Woolite-tinis, America's favorite new cocktail sensation. I won't have one myself. I've got Bush fatigue so bad my GAP ad would be "tiRED"
Whatever. Don't forget to VOTE.
October 17, 2006
The Running of the Mulllets
That's what they used to call Ptown's Women's Week, years and years ago. And you know who they are. But this year, with the glorious blue sky, sunny warm days and full fall color spectrum as thier background, the women of Women's Week were mostly mulletless and gorgeous. And from all over the county - Texas, California, Vermont, Staten Island.
You'll be relieved to know that no one was hurt during the Kate Clinton Touch Football Classic. The hundreds of spectators were encouraged to step forward to catch any high flying lesbians veering toward any sort of cement. They all took their job very seriously. The New Hampshire cheerleaders were there with their home made pom poms and willingness to lead the wave. Vicki Shaw, Poppy, Jenny McNulty, Suede, Karen Williams, Suzanne Westenhoffer and many others took turns calling the game on the bullhorn my girlfriend gave me for Christmas two years ago. This year we had jerseys! thanks to the sponsorship of NCLR, the National Center for Lesbian Rights.
Kate Kendell, indefatigable executive director of NCLR was rooting her blue team on, while I rooted my white jerseyed team on. When we switched teams, not that way, there was the lovely viewing of lesbians taking off their shirts. The Battle of the Kates was great fun and ended in, my personal favorite, a tie game. We all went off to the Pied Piper after for rub-downs and post-game interviews.
There were parties, proms, concerts, dinners, tours, shows, sale shopping, and events all over town. I was glad that NCLR was a presence at so many events, because for thirty years their mission has been to defend the rights of lesbians. It is thier visionary, courageous work for so many years that makes events like Women's Week, these thirty years later, possible.
I've stayed in Ptown a few extra days and this week in town, it is Fantasia Fair. Cross-dressing men, often accompanied by their wives, enjoy the welcome mat of Ptown and once again, I am reminded of the promise of sexual liberation. Sure there might be a couple of Pilgrims spinning in their cold, lonely graves, but I am so proud of the people of Ptown. Next for the town that theme weekends built - The AA Roundup, Single Men's Weekend and Holly Folly.
October 10, 2006
The Fortunate Fall
They say, and you know who they are, that the colors of fall are always in those leaves and it just takes the stoppage of chlorophyll production to let those colors shine through. It was a wet spring, remember those mosquitos? the northern earth has tilted a bit more from the sun, nights are cool. I'm no Kate Nye, the science gal, but the conditions are perfect for a rip-roaring riot of fall colors.
Flying up to Colby College in Waterville, Maine, the earth below was a welcoming red carpet. And the carpet was rolled out by all the folks from the Women and Gender Studies Department, under the direction of Elizabeth Leonard. Many students were in attendance at the show and lots of Maniac gals came out of their little towns to attend the show. It was a great night of celebration.
It was again a pleasure to return to The Theatre at Raritan Community College in New Jersey. Alan Liddell, the theatre director, could not have been more welcoming. The New Jersey audience seemed thrilled not to have to go through a tunnel or over a bridge to see me. My intrepid publicist, Michele Karlsberg and her hard-working posse was there with product and made the evening a very special stop on the 25th Anniversary Tour.
Got back to New York, just in time to celebrate the birthday of my favorite Libra and partner. We all trundled out to the Catty Shack in Brooklyn and danced til we dropped, or actually until we all had birthday cupcakes from Magnolia. Everyone spiked on the sugar, dance frenzy broke out and then everyone crashed. Not as bad as the Yankees. It was a blast. I'm off to Women's Week in Provincetown for more harvesting of laughter. And the Kate Clinton Classic touch football - Thursday, high noon. Bring your pinnies! I'll be in the middle with the bullhorn, touching girls. Appropriately, of course.
October 02, 2006
"You Rock the Vote"
On Tuesday, September 26 I had a blast at the Lambda Liberty Awards held at the Director's Guild in Los Angeles. I spent the day with my friend Leslie and her nine year old daughter Sophie. As I was leaving for the event, Sophie looked at me and hooted, "Woo hoo - lipstick!" That's the kind of compliment that can send you out the door!
First, out in the lobby, there were hors d'oeuvres going into lots of familiar faces and then the program in the theater. Those Lambda folks know how to get people in and out. I emceed and presented awards to Jackie Goldberg, longtime LA activist and state pol and to Martina Navratilova for her out and outspoken support of justice for GLBT and their pets. It was great to see Martina and I look forward to seeing her more while she is "retired". From tennis anyway.
And it wasn't just because it was so accessible, but I had a great time with the Diversity Group at Prudential in Newark, New Jersey. The event was a networking opportunity for Prudential workers and an information session for GLBT employees and allies trying to plan for their financial futures midst the half-measures of domestic partnership which vary state to state. Since I tend to glaze over when financial planners or insurance people speak, it was good to have my publicist, Michele Karlsberg, there to poke me when my head started to bob. At the dinner after, I loved hearing the stories of the Prudential workers. They like where they work. I still have no idea what "compliance" means, but I'm pretty sure I'm not in it.
I wouldn't dream of speaking for you, just to you, but this really has been the longest six years of my life. I have Bush boredom, not the good kind, in almost paralytic proportions. If we actually do win some advantage in the mid-term elections, I have no faith that they will actually leave in 2008. They love those coup coup kachoos. All we can do is the next right thing, but check out the Laugh-in tactic in Don't Get Me Started. Try it. And work for a candidate and register and vote.
September 20, 2006
Take Me Out
Perhaps you've noticed the decline in gas prices at the pump. I'm not one to brag, but remember that I did promise that while on the Alaska Cruise, sponsored by Purell, with the mateys from Olivia, that I had organized a side snowmobile excursion to fix the British Petroleum pipeline? Have duct tape will travel. Prices are down. We await a thank you note from the American peoples.
The cruise was, as usual, jam-packed and fun-filled. It was lovely to hang out with my sista comics - Karen Williams, Vickie Shaw, and Roxanna Ward. Do not believe anything that Karen might tell you about my taking her on a forced nature walk in early daylight. And as always it was so special to see old friends getting some well-earned rest and relaxation and to meet new women and have time to hear the amazing stories of their lives. I wish there were an Olivia Women's Oral History Project. Heck, they think of everything, there probably already is one out on CD.
Sadly, after getting my full certification as Bingo Caller and, at long last, Oldywed/Newlywed emcee, I had to leave the ship in Sitka. I flew to San Francisco, did some business and met my dear pal, Jeanne Rizzo, brilliant head of The Breast Cancer Fund and insane SF Giants fan. She took me to the new ballpark, and the Giants beat the Colorado Rockies. I always pretend the CR on their caps stands for "consciousness raising."
In Chicago, cooler since the Gay Games, thank the lordess, I emceed the Outies, an awards dinner celebrating individuals and businesses that work for diversity in the workplace. It's the last night of the Out and Equal Workplace Summit and always a pleasure to ride herd on those 1,500 daring gays and allies. So much fun, that I believe I invited myself to the next Summit, to be held next year in Washington, DC. So near the White House. Selisse Barry, unflappable executive director of Out and Equal, said she would consider the offer.
Always inspirational is a visit to a college, and Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green was no exception. I met with students at their beautiful Women's Center run by the intrepid Jane Olmstead, had dinner with faculty, did a show, had a lively question and answer period and met with students after. Anybody can be gay in New York or San Francisco, [please tell them] but to be out and active at a southern college or in an unwelcoming work environment, fires me up. Outies for everyone!
August 23, 2006
C U in September
It's almost September, time to don argyle knee socks and I haven't even told you about refereeing Drag Kickball here in Provincetown? Must be the vapors from my SPF 90 sunscreen.
The Ptown Kickers meet ever Tuesday for kickball at the high school field and even though their skills are quite developed, their benefit contest with the loosely assembled drag performers in town was close fought. More than the Red Sox against the Yankees. But how hard is that? Fire that bubble gum chomping manager's Franconia's notch.
But I digress and it is the sunscreen. Miss Richfield 1981, Cashetta, Scarbie and many unheralded drag queens played their little heels off. Unfortunately I was the ref and I'm more interested in outfits, interpersonal relations and bipartisanship than actual numbers of innings and outs and scores. Actually I'm a lot like the Red Sox manager. Who knew? But we raised some money for the Community Center and it was a gorgeous day.
Carnival Week was slamming in town. And since the theme was Gay Paree, I was looking for some old fashioned world cup soccer head butting on the floats, but everyone is far more mature than I, so French maids, Eiffel Towers, french fries and toast and poodles and I think a guillotine graced the parties throughout the week.
We're in the lull week before the Labor Day week and Sunday, August 20 was the absolute last day lily of my garden, so soon, the pack up and head back to "reality" begins. Wish I could be in NYC for the dedication of the Billie Jean King Sports Complex before the US Open opens, but I've got to work in Ptown. It's an amazing and richly deserved honor for our Billie.
It's so good to see my dear fans, all tanned and relaxed and having vacations. It's been fun and I'm ready to hit the road. First stop is Alaska with the Oliviettes. I'm taking some of the gals on an excursion, on our snomobiles to that BP pipeline. Klondykes with all weather duct tape - we'll fix that thing. Sheesh.
July 23, 2006
Mosquito Coast
Time is flying here in Ptown, the town that theme weekends built. Bear Week just ended. It was hell on the drains, but lots of the bears came to my shows and after gave me bear hugs, literally.
I left the island for the Opening Ceremonies of the Gay Games in Chicago. Chi-town welcomed us warmly. Like 106 degrees. Which I might have thought was gay-bashing if it weren't for the kick-ass welcome from their very gay friendly mayor, Mayor Daley. My favorite moment was when, after thanking gay people for revitalizing American cities, especially Chicago, he called the thrice-divorced congressional opponents to gay marriage what they are - hypocrites. 30,000 people went wild.
The opening night was quite the spectacle - nothing like watching 12,000 athletes from 30 countries pour out onto Soldiers Field. When they shut the stadium lights down and the field became a rainbow flag of 12,000 glo-sticks, it was pretty impressive. I believe we do have the crowd moving skills to get us the heck out of Iraq.
Backstage I got to see Holly Near, Teresa Trull, Barbara Higbie, Nedra Johnson, Suzanne Westenhoffer, Jim Hormel, Margaret Cho and so many of my pals. It was a hopping green room.
The show at The Park West, one of my all time favorite venues, was sponsored by the fine folks at HRC, which I thought was Hillary Rodham Clinton, but no, it was the Human Rights Campaign. I've got to read my contracts more carefully. The HRC staff was way fun and professional and the place was packed. Some of the gals who were at my first Chicago show at The Mountain Moving Coffeehouse were there!
I made a quick trip with my galpal to see Melissa Etheridge on her summer tour stop in Minneapolis. Yes, I now officially have more frequent flier miles than the Widow Ratzinger, but how hard is that? Melissa was in fine form and voice and there is a transcendent joy of living about her that kicks her performance to new levels. She of course, rocked for two and a half hours. I saw her for a moment with Tammy and the twins to be - in the Twin Cities of course.
I wish the Midwest could export some of its peace to the Mideast. It's heartbreaking - I can feel it even in my sweet summer audiences. Rest up this summer, we've got work to do in the upcoming midterm elections.
July 04, 2006
Codependency Floats
Greetings from Provincetown - it's Fourth of July, Independence Day. I've just put the finishing touches on my annual Co-Dependency Float. It looks great. If you think so. We pull it ourselves. The bunting is black and blue.
The trip to my Irish Homeland was too short but it was lovely to be among my people - big heads, widows peaks, lots of winking and like me, they enjoy a good vest. The driving was like a trust walk in a long-term relationship retreat weekend, but no one got hurt. And Triple A will cover the side mirror. The landscape is the landscape of my heart and who knew there were so many variations on green?
I returned just in time to do the Garden Party on the Pier for the New York GLBT Community Center and left there and went to the Hammerstein Ballroom to do a set in the End the Violence concert sponsored by V-Day. I'm not sure what time zone I was in at the time, but the events were wonderful and great fundraisers for two of my favorites.
The annual packing and moving to Ptown happened almost without a hitch. FYI, if you get a large enough rental car, you can fit two bikes in the back seat. Someday I might even be able to untangle them. The June crowds in Ptown were lovely and relaxed before the insanity that is July and August. The new staff at the Crown and Anchor are great. Cashetta, a gay magic act; the drag magic of Randy Roberts; the comedy stylings of Miss Richfield 1981; the entertainment extravaganzas of Ryan Landry all make up the entertainment hub that is my place of employ. I'm the only real woman on the bill, so it's a big responsibility.
Sad news has its way with us though. My friend, Eric Rofes, a long time activist, educator, agitator, thinker in the gay movement, died here suddenly of a heart attack on June 26. He lived in San Francisco, taught at Humboldt State and was here for the summer finishing his 13th book, a work on the gay movement in the 70s. It is a huge loss for all of us. Friends gathered here for a memorial and came to our house after. Say a prayer for his partner of 16 years, his friends and family.
Do yourself a favor and get Alison Bechdel's new book, Fun Home. I hope Eric got to read it. It is stunning and richly deserves the wonderful reviews it has been getting She herself is a dyke to watch out for who has arrived!
I'll be working here in Ptown until I go off to the Gay Games in Chicago. I am participating - no not as a shot putter - but in the opening ceremonies. I'll also be doing a show on Monday night July 17th at the Park West, one of my favorite venues.
Okay, the parade is about to begin, I better hoof the float uptown. Happy What's Left of Independence Day!
June 06, 2006
Pinball Wizard
Though it was the 16th Annual Gay Days in Orlando, it was my first time in attendance. The ballroom of the Hotel Royal was packed to the rafters, thanks to the producer, Margaret Nolan and we had a raucous good time. The hotel was also the site of a gay trade fair and non-stop parties. What started sixteen years ago as a day, has now burgeoned into a weeklong celebration. Not only does it bring gays together from all over the country, according to Pat Robertson, it also causes hurricanes and other natural disasters.
And we have the power to destroy marriage. We're amazing. It's time for a Gay Years.
From the excellent road managing of Kathy Mullen, whom I last saw stage managing the March on Washington and who now works for, as she says, "The Mouse" I was off to Santa Rosa, California. I really have to get my booking agent a map.
Tracye Lea Lawson met me in Oakland and we drove up through the vineyards to Santa Rosa. The hard-working, Ellen Maremont and Robyn Branhal of We Mean It productions brought me to a packed house of 1300 at the Wells Fargo Center, FKA The Luther Burbank. The staff of the venue is one of the best in the country. Andre Kelley rocked the house with a funny opening set and introduced me. It was a blast and then, because those California gals don't know when to stop, they had a dance after!
The flight home was my favorite kind - uneventful. Since my return, I feel as if my head might blow off with fury at the 'president' and his marriage amendment. We've established what a calculating, mendacious piece of work he is, but what is really frying me is our so-called allies who dryly blather on about procedural-this and state's-rights-that when it's your and my life they are talking about. They are disgusting.
For quite a while, I've had a June roots tour planned to Ireland. No, not my hair. We'll do our best to come back to the states. No guarantees.
O'okay - I promise I'll be back for the NY GLBT Center Garden Party and the End Violence Against Women Concert. But then I'm going to Ptown for the summer. Come see me at the Crown.
June 01, 2006
Mamorial Day Weekend
First there was the lovely visit to Maggie Cassella's 10th Annual "We're Funny That Way" Comedy Festival. I really was a guest worker! From the opening night dinner gala through a rotating schedule of comedy - The Nellie Olsens, Dina Martini, Karen Williams and Maggie herself - the weekend is a Juste Pour Gay Rires. Maggie raises and then donates money to lots of arts projects in the area. She'll be back at the Vixen in Ptown this summer. You have not really lived until she "flyers" you!!
Since I had a little time in the apres midi, I got to visit with Elvira Kurt and see her new baby - le petit Madeleine. Elvira and Chloe have a beauty! Elvira's comedy stylings often involve deft imitations of her mother. Goes around, comes around. I saw Madeliene do an imitation of Elvira doing a goo goo.
I made it through customs - when they ask, "Are you bringing dangerous weapons into the country?" I always want to point to my tongue. The nine-seater from Boston to Ptown was almost canceled due to thick fog, but my Muse was with me, and we flew off when there was a tiny window of opportunity.
We used to call the long Memorial weekend "Bud Lite Weekend" because all the young gals, just graduated from colleges in the Northeast, all in backward baseball caps were seen lugging huge coolers of beer into their motels and rental houses. But a wag on the west end of town told me that he called it "Mamorial Day." It's not about pink ribbons and walking - it's about partying and carrying on and having a blast. And they did.
It was a great kickoff to another summer season at the Crown and Anchor. The C&A season resumes for me on June 22, after stops in Orlando and Santa Rosa, and a week in Ireland where I'll be tracing my roots. Not hair, dears, although they are getting darker and trashier by the minute.
Happy Gay Pride - the month formerly known as June!
May 18, 2006
Michigan: Talk to the Hand
You missed a really good time in Lansing, Michigan. "Where's that Kate?" you ask. Well, hold up your right hand, palm facing you, doesn't it look like Michigan? It does. There, just above your life line and right below that black mark from the Sharpee you used last night, that's where Lansing is. And how about washing up a little better?
The lovely gals from Goldenrod, now in their 31st year of women's music and culture distribution, kindly agreed to produce my 25th Anniversary Show. That was in addition to their regular chores. The show was at the gorgeous Dart Auditorium and Eileen Ford, who opened for me in 1986, if we remember correctly, came out of comedy retirement to do her usual sly and witty remarks. Lansing is the unheralded epi-center of deep lesbian magma - The MWMF, the Lesbian Connection, Goldenrod - all spring from that soil. Which was supersaturated from Portland, OR like rains.
A special thanks to Sue and all the volunteers. And very special congratulations to Terry Grant, head Goldenrod honcha and Sue Emert. They've been together for 30 years. When I asked Sue the secret of their success, she laughed. That's the secret.
The next night I played at The Ark, a fine cultural center, run by Dave and Linda Siglin and all their community volunteers. It's in Ann Arbor - hand again, palm up, more east to the base of your thumb. The space is close and fun and for years my sweet Ann Arborettes have plunked their butts in those chairs which make the mark of waffles on their cheeks. I understand that in 1988, one lesbian was able to prove her whereabouts to her doubting partner by displaying faint, but recognizable, waffle like indentations.
This Friday night I have the great pleasure of emceeing The Streb salute to Phillipe Petite at Elizabeth's action lab in Brooklyn. And two of our favorite lesbian brothers received Tony nominations thise week - Lisa Krohn for Well and Cynthia Nixon for Rabbit Hole. And lesbians are taking over daytime TV. Now if we could just take over the country. On the way to that- all you Michiganders - do what you can to get Governor Granholme re-elected.
May 09, 2006
Down There
My show in Plymouth, New Hampshire was a fitting end to a busy April. The northern New Hampshire city is located at the mouth of the Ply, or something like that. One of the most gorgeous theaters in the state, The Silver Cultural Arts Center, ably run by Diane Jeffrey, was the scene of gals coming out of the hills for a night of comedy.
The next weekend it was on to The Birchmere, a rollicking roadhouse in Alexandria, Virginia on the outskirts of Washington, DC, or as we call it in my house "The Vortex of Evil." Mary Farmer, the former owner of Lammas Books in DC was my road manager du jour. It was a packed house, a freakily knowledgeable crowd. In DC, not only do they know all the Departmental Secretaries, they know who their secretaries are and what perfume they wear. "What's that cologne you're wearing? Passive-Aggressive?"
Saturday night I played the the gorgeous Pack Place Performing Arts Center in Asheville. Located in the Smokey Mountains, "A-She-Ville" as the gals all call it, was bursting with rhodendrun and sweet smelling spring things. My two pals Nancy and Beth, recent transplants from Jamaica Plain, showed me around their magical, musical city. Again, the gals came out of the hills for the show. Employment Equality for Gays and Lesbians, EEGL, a new civil rights group founded in response to some recent unfortunate homophobic firings was there in courageous force. Laurel Scherer and Virginia Balfour are the essence of grass roots activists.
On Sunday, Barbara Lau, a producer friend from years ago in St. Louis, hooked up with me in Durham, home of the recent really unpleasantness with the Duke LaCrosse team. Blue Devils, indeed. The show at the Reynold's Theater was a benefit for the incredible, hands on group, called SWOOP - Strong Women Organizing Outrageous Projects. Now in its tenth year, the group was formed to help with hurricane cleanup. One weekend a month for ten years, they have organized 50-70 women to swoop in and do a cleanup, a renovation, a rehab whatever is needed for the poor, the disabled, the overwhelmed. They were Extreme Makeover before Extreme Makeover was cool. Never have toolbelts been so sexy. They are selecting a city in the southeast for a summer road trip swoop.
In Durham, as I was signing programs after the show, I looked up and right into the face of the vice-principal from the high school where I last taught! I thought he was going to ask for a hall pass. Bob Rinker and his wife Jeane, had retired to Pinehurst and they were at the show! I had not been out when I taught. When I run into former students now, they always say, "We knew you were funny." And I ask, "Did you know I was gay?" They always respond, "Oh yes." And I say, "Well, why didn't you tell me?" They all claim the Frye boots were the giveaway.
Bob and Jeane were beaming. I basked in their pride and then they told me about everybody else who had since come out! They had some excellent dish. We could have served collard greens.
April 24, 2006
Failure to Lunch
If it's Spring, and I think it is - yes, there's that telltale sign - the RiteAid bag lufting in the tree - it must be fundraising dinner season. As a professional dinner emcee, although now I like to think of myself as a guest worker, I've had the pleasure of not eating with thousands of lesbians and gay men. The recent Fenway Community Health Women's Dinner in Boston was its usual Seasonal See and Be Seen self. Those girls know how to partay!
The Task Force dinner in New York at the Grand Hyatt honored Pulitzer Prize winning author, and fellow summer blonde, Michael Cunningham and the newly elected openly lesbian Speaker of the New York City Council, Christine Quinn. We are so proud of her, we could plotz. The main dish at any Task Force event was lively dish.
My dear girls from NCLR threw their annual gala at the Moscone Center in their home town of San Francisco and 2900 attended! It was a sea of lesbians, acres of exes. The estrogen reached dangerous levels. Dangerous as in excellent. The honorees - pioneering activist/therapist, Betty Berzon; the first two-spirited couple to marry in the Cherokee Nation, Dawn McKinley and Kathy Reynolds; MVP basketball player Sheryl Swoopes and Jennifer Harris who challenged her UPenn basketball coach's homophobia - did us all honor. Executive Director, Kate Kendall, challenged us to engage our adversaries. If to know us, is not automatically to love us [who knew?] at the very least we need to make our very personal selves known to them. She is one of my favorite radical optimists.
Thank goodness, I got to break up the dinner season with a lovely visit to Ft. Worth, Texas. Home of the Cowgirl Hall of Fame! Pardner. The dames from Open Door Productions really know how to put on a show. Kris McIntosh and Linda Schram and all their compatriot volunteers took great care of me from door to door. And let me tell you, no one enjoys a little [okay a lotta] Bush bashing more than Texans!
April 17, 2006
Maundy Maundy
Imagine my disappointment that I did not meet the Governor of Caleefornia, Col. Klink, when I was on tour in Sacramento. It was a sunny day, and after weeks of rain, the natives ran to greet me as their precipitation liberator. We had a Really Good Friday, especially with all the new info on Brokeback Judas and the kiss. The crowd was raucous and gave it thier Passion Week best. The Crest Theater is a beautifully restored vaudeville house and I could feel the ghosts of comics past.
The next night in Portland Oregon, at the gorgeous Newmark Theater was also a hoot. After we got the people out of the theater who thought they were going to be attending a Cable Guy Show. Heck no, that's next door. And some of the lesbians who went into the Cable Guy Show in error learned a great deal and reported back that it is not going well for straight people.
My agent Tam Martin, who lives in Portland, smooothly managed all the details of the show and caught me up on all the news.
The Tour is rolling on like clockwork but I want to give you all a heads up. If Rummy resigns, [big if, he's doing all the planning with Dick Excellent Hunter Cheney to bomb Iran right now, he wants to go out with a bang] I'm going for his job. I couldn't do it worse. I've got excellent people.
Darlings, it's a Maundy Monday in New York and the crabapple trees are in bloom. I'm stepping away from my e-vehicle and I'm off to the park.
April 11, 2006
Los BIG NAMES
Heads up to all of you in and around the New York Metropolitan area!
After you've finished your immigration protest marching, why not stop over to see the fabulous offspring of Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants, Miss Marga Gomez in her HIGHlarious show LOS BIG NAMES at the 47th Street Theatre?
You'll see why we need to keep those borders open. Marga gives Guest Worker even more zing. She is physically fearless - her impersonation of Kathleen Turner and Sharon Stone are killer, but you haven't really lived until you see her do Queen Latifah as Tiny, in her undersea depth death scene in the movie Sphere.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. Go. Get a date for Marga's show and apparently for Marga. She likes em femme and appreciative.
She makes us all proud. Viva La Marga!
April 05, 2006
GO TERPS
Sports Note Today my mantra is "Never be afraid to make a mistake and move on." Thus I do not correct for spelling today.April 04, 2006
I Was a Guest Worker in Palm Springs
In LA, I stayed with my great good friend Leslie Belzberg and her eight year old daughter, my goddesschild, Sophie. One afternoon, after we found that the cheesy diner I was trying to take her to for a coke was closed, Sophie walked me over to Elixir on Melrose for tea. She ordered the Ro-something Africanus, and a cherry tart. She picked out the table, set among rustling bamboo and near a gurgling fountain, poured some tea for me, sat back and announced, "This is living."
Indeed.
After some R&R in LA, a visit with my friend Lori, from NYC, now a shining star at the UCLA Film School and then a too-quick afternoon and evening with my galpal who was in LA for meetings, it was off to the Fabled Dinah Shore Golf Classique for moi. A friend of Tam Martin's, Joan Heeter picked me up at the airport and we were off! Heeter is a golfer, so was able to point out all the golfers - Michele, Anika, Julie - as we hiked in to the NCLR booth on the course. At the booth they shared with the fab gals from Olivia, we amused ourselves watching straight guys come by and grab up the free NCLR golf tees and key chains. Lots of splaining to do at home that night.
Once again, Andrea Meyerson and her Women on a Roll gang threw a great party in the desert. I did four shows in two nights amidst a flurry of Dinah activities. Another NCLR fundraiser, this one a brunch at the amazing home of Roberta Conroy and Terry Fabris. There we didn't lock any doors for fundraising. If they paid more, I told them they could stay for the week. Kidding. I did a book reading and signing at the Peppertree Bookstore and Cafe, a lovely indepedent bookstore on Palm Canyon Drive. It was an oasis of calm in a sea of non-readers. I had too-short visits with VickiShaw, her Sgt. Patch, Charlese, Lisa Koch, and many others.
Sunday morning I got up at 430a, but we'd sprung ahead, so no telling what time it was. Please don't tell me. Heeter drove me to the airport where I caught a flight at 630a and made it back to New York in time for the Women's Final Four from Boston. Go Terps. A totally gal sporty weekend. Travel note: it takes longer to get from JFK to the Upper West Side of Manhattan, than it takes to fly from Palm Springs to Dallas. That is not right. Someone please call Mayor Bloomberg at 311 and tell him to fix it. Thank you.
Sleep in Seattle then O Canada.
After my sojourn in San Fransisters, and my R&R in Marin, where I won one and lost one game of Scrabble, those Scrabble dictionaries really cramp my style, I flew to another gorgeous city, Seattle. It's a tough job, but someone's got to visit them. Michele and one of her posse, Francisca, took a 24 hour train ride up to Seatte. She would not recommend it. My pal Paul Bauer, who has produced me several times there, picked me up at SeaTac. It was March, so he was in shorts. Note to foodies reading this: all meals were taken at The Flying Fish.
Except for the NCLR benefit that night at the Hotel Andra and their hors were fab. The Seattle gals showed up! I had great chats with real estate brokers, a pilates trainer, a minister, a fabulous scientist and a private investigator. Cris Williamson, whose 30th Anniversary Changer and the Changed Tour - has it only been 30 years? - is also NCLR sponsored and who lives in town, came to the event. Always a pleasure. Because of a 5K match, we shut the doors and wouldn't let anyone leave until we raised the match. Catholic guilt and fundraising, it's a natural.
The Seattle show at the Bena Roya Hall, Benihana to me, was dreamy - packed and they were all charged up by yet another anti-gay measure. People need to get real jobs. Why can't we, as a gay movement, just start suing these anti-gay ballot pushers for harrassment and loss of income?
Next morning, we boarded the Victoria Clipper to Victoria. You haven't lived until you ride the ferries in the northwest. I'm clapping. I believe in ferries. Jannit, who met us at the terminal gave us a quick tour of some of the island. Spring was springing, the sun was out, things were blooming. Then I was sneezing, but that's for my medical blog. The show in the Alix Goolden Hall was great fun. No one appreciates some good Bush Bashing like Canadians. They are all quite restrained - they could have gone around gloating, "We told you so," but they now have a new P.M. Steven Harper, who wants to be like George, so they seem a bit embarrassed.
From Victoria, we hopped the ferry from Swartz Bay, and threaded the needle through misty green islands and arrived in Vancouver. More clapping. The show at the Arts Club Theatre on Granville Island was a raucous, blast for a Sunday night and the reception after for their Youth Center was a chance to see old familiar faces and some new ones. Friends from back in the day of camping on Saturna with Ferron after the Vancouver Folk Festival where I had insulted some in the crowd by observing that I loved Mother Teresa in ET. Friends from that long ago.
Next morning I bid a sad farewell to Michele Karlsberg, my publicist who had been road managing me since San Fransisters. She headed back to Staten Island, by plane not train and her friend from SF, Francisca, headed home. Unmanaged, I managed to make my way through Customs back into the states to LA. When the agents ask if you are carrying any dangerous weapons, I always want to point to my tongue. But the signs all say, "No Joking" which I take very personally.
March 20, 2006
San Fransisters!
The 25th Anniversary Tour picked up some left hearts in San Fransisters. For four nights of fun, I played the Empire Plush Room at the York Hotel. There was still a little Kitty Carlisle Hart dust on the stage from when she entertained there. Rory Paull and Rob Kotonly, indefatigable bicoastal producers who also produce shows in New York and Philly, have taken over the Plush Room, a beloved SF speakeasy that was about to be closed. They've refurbished it beautifully and gotten it back to working order. They both love to give tours of the secret tunnels that flappers and those in the know navigated to get to the club. Rumor has it that a ghost of a former piano player roams the hotel at night. I think it's a queen whacked out on ambien trying to find the kitchen.
After thirty "straight" days of rain, the weather was sunny and lovely and the people were happy. I rode over to Berkeley and did an interview with Andrea Lewis, host of the Morning Show on good old KPFA. Andrea is one of the smoothest, most professional interviewers I've had the pleasure to talk with - she gets all the info in absolutely effortlessly. KRON's morning show with the much beloved reviewer and raconteur, Jan Wahl, was too short. I wanted to interview her. She promised to come to the big NCLR Women's Dinner at the Moscone Center on April 22. I told her it's three acres of lesbians in fabulous outfits and she said she'd be there with her hat on! Sedge Thompson's live radio show, West Coast Live, was another pleasure, Prairie Home Companion without the heavy breathing.
On Sunday afternoon, my dear sponsors, NCLR hosted a meet and greet at Sauce Restaurant for all their major supporters. The food was great - the folks in San Francisco do good food and that includes Hans Food, the little hole in the wall Michele and I found for breakfast. It was wonderful to meet so many local,loyal NCLR supporters. Kate Kendall had just returned from a trip to Minneapolis and fired up the crowd with tales of the cases they are involved in there.
So now I can add the Plush Room to the venues I have known in San Fransisters: The Great American Music Hall, The JCC of Marin, the Herbst Theater, The Palace of Fine Arts, the Brava Theater, The Greek Theater, the Calvin Simmons Theater [where I played during an earthquake!] to name a few.
Happy Spring. Sadly war. Three years now and the Support the Troops ribbons are faded and have started to resemble infinity signs. It truly is March Madness. I'm chilling for a couple days in Corte Madera with my dear old friends Jeanne Rizzo and Pali Cooper before heading up to Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria. While some might say it's time to move to Canada, I'm just going to visit. In San Franscisco, ten thousand people protested the war on the third anniversary. I like to protest it every day. I'm specifying my taxes should go to education. Risk an audit for peace.
March 07, 2006
If I go to heaven, it'll be through Atlanta
My ten day swing through Florida was orange fruitful. I did some gloating when I talked to Michele back home in New York and she'd tell me, "It's 20 degrees here and the sky has been cloudy all day." Oops, Brokeback residue.
In Tampa, I played to a packed crowd in the MCC Church. I think they may have offered indulgences with each ticket. The church is the heart and soul of the gay Tampa area - vibrant, expanding, hopeful and politically engaged. Renee and Kathie, the show producers, smoothly oversaw all the show details and then the next morning were up at 8am to prepare the sound stage for their Winter Gay Pride. At the post-show reception with NCLR, I saw lots of snow birds from my dear Ptown. And I think I only referred to Tampans as Tampons once. Restraint is so adult.
In case you don't know, Jacksonville is way too close to Georgia. It's one of the loops for the Bible Belt. The Baptists own eight blocks of downtown, with a huge megachurch and three parking garages. Remember when they used to raise money with collection envelopes? But the show at the North Florida performance hall was a total pleasure. And the crowd was hungry. Jim Wagner, who has an amazing commitment to lesbian gatherings and a fabulous energy, brought me to Jacksonville. He is the fastest Southern talker I have ever heard - his whole day is spent just trying to keep up with his great ideas. At the reception after he presented a check for $1200 to NCLR for all their wonderful work.
The last stop on my weekend trifecta was the Carefree Resort just outside Ft. Myers. I stayed with Jane and Shar, friends retired from Lady Jane's Inn in Ptown, who hosted me and hosted a small lunch with The Gerbornes, friends from the early 1980s in upstate New York. Shar's homecooking was a lovely respite from Delta airline pretznuts.
Again it was great to see so many friends from around the country, all nestled in this little paradise. The Club House as performing space is a delight with great sound and lights. In my later performing years, I hope to play a retired lesbian community circuit. They are retired from work, not from being lesbians. They have jam-packed, fun-filled days and I was happy to be there.
A few days later I performed at the gorgeous old Manuel Artime Theater in Little Havana in a benefit for The National Lesbian and Gay Task Force for their Winter Party. It was a pleasure to appear on the bill with lots of local Miami talent and Billy Porter from New York City. His singing brought down the house.
After three days being the comedy concierge for the Gill Foundation Political Outgiving Conference, I made my way back to New York just in time to perform at Nothing Like a Dame - The Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS fundraiser, this year at the Imperial Theater. It's a Dame Dim Sum of some of the finest women on Broadway, all donating their one night off a week for this great cause. Cynthia Nixon, Tyne Daly, the Jersey Girls - I am talking major damedom. And me - grinning ear to ear - getting my picture taken with some excellent leggy young lovelies. I raised 20K auctioning off a Harry Winston watch - all the Catholic shaming finally came in handy when I was pushing the bling.
Cheers and shout outs to all the courageous, politically active lesbian and gay people in the Sunshine State. I was inspired throughout by your lives.
Happy International Women's Day! Go kiss Martina! I know she's a US citizen now, but do you need a reason?
February 20, 2006
Luvul
Drop your head back and pretend you're a turkey drowning in the rain and say "Luvul". That's where The Alternative is - one of the sweetest gay gal spaces since The Planet. The owners, Kim and Gerine [like tangerine without the tan] are the hardest working gals in the business and in three years they've made the club a great performance space and local watering hold. If you are in the area of Louisville, dew drop in. That's what the place used to be called.
We had a great show and I'm only sorry I had to leave so early the next morning on a bizarre routing to Boston. I missed the Farm Equipment Show at the Fairgrounds and even worse, I missed the Tractor Pull. Next time I'm bringing my mesh cap and I'll be there - guarandamnteed.
Saturday night at the Somerville Theater was also a rip. Chris Guerrero and Ellen Friedman, who have produced me in Boston for 18 of my 25 years of performing, got some fine press in the Boston papers and even though it was a below freezing night, the crowd came out for a very hot time. It was like old homo week - old college friends, old students and teachers, lots of ex-nuns! Those old vaudeville stages bring out the raunchiest in me and the crowd egged me on. No friendly fired pellet guns were used, but they were mentioned.
Am back in Manhattan, packing up my think tank tops and trying to find my summer shorts for a ten day swing through Florida. And watching the Olympic curling for relaxation. I have a very slight Olymic fever, but otherwise, all is well.
February 15, 2006
Category Kate
On Saturday, I got out of New York's LaGuardia just before the big blizzard hit, dumping 29 inches and forcing our local weather people to lash themselves to bus stops everywhere. It's 51 and slushy now. The corners are impassable.
Clearly, I want Jonetta Jones' job on TWC. Why do weather channels play porn music?
But I digress. And generally I call it a show.
My destination was Indianapolis for a show at the gorgeous Clowes Hall at Butler University. In addition to the fabulous opening act, Dino Sierp, the producer suprised me with an encore of 25 gifts delivered by five dogs who had been trained by a local organization [ICAAN]. Think pink dildo as dog toy. Prisoners from Indiana institutions train the dogs to live with the disabled and with troubled adolescents. The group named one of the puppy trainees after me - K.C. Puppy chow all around!
Broad hint to all of you. Kate or K.C. is a lovely name.
After that Indy high point, I met up with my galpal, Urvashi, in College Station, TX, the home of the George Bush the First library. Her parents were visiting from India. Not for the library. But to see her other sister and for a reunion.
So, yes, those of you with sharp timetable minds - I was there for the Dick Cheney shoot-em-up in Texas! It was a comedy gift for Valentines Day. And now people are mad that he didn't tell us anything or anything sooner? It was an accident, not a miracle. He has never told us anything. It's none of our beeswax. Be nice if the press were as due diligent about W.M.D.s, secret energy commissions, wiretapping as they are about this "accident".
Don't want to harsh your mellow! It's Susan B. Anthony's Birthday today. Tra la!
February 09, 2006
Fact Checker!
One time I got an email from a woman who told me that she did not appreciate being pointed at during my show. And she appreciated it even less when I called her a "fat chick."
I was stunned. I've got my own body image issues and I could not imagine that I'd done something like that.
Turns out, during that show, some woman had been correcting me - and who knew from Norway or Finland? - but I'm not the president - and after about the third time she yelled something out - and she was correct - I said, "Well, I'm glad the fact checker is here tonight."
Out in the ether of the net, there lurks another helpful fact checker, who kindly pointed out to me that Dino Sierp and Tracye Lea Lawson's names from the preceding blog, were spelled incorrectly.
My apologies and thanks to my careful reader for that and so much more.
Now I have to go on Oprah and take my lashings. Oh my, is it Lent already?
February 07, 2006
Hoosier Daddy?
The Santa Cruz show was a dang hoot. The night before the show in the Rios Theater, that 2000 year old mystic woman, Ramtha, had done a show there. But you knew that. There was still some woo-woo residue on the stage. The lovely and talented Tracy Lee Lawson, the former P.T. Barnum of women's culture in Santa Cruz - radio! shows! newspapers! she did it all - was kind enough to drive me to and fro. It was great to catch up with her. She's disconsolate about the SeaHawks and spells that Pittsburgh team with an "a".
Am in NYC, resting up for the show with Dino Sierpe in Indianapolis. Dino puts on a really big shue. Generally the theme is "Kate Clinton this is your life." and she drags some embarrassing bit of my past out of the closet. You don't know her name. You had the powers in the above paragraph. Not this one.
One year she dressed me up as a nun and made me run an auction for her. I was embarrassed that I had only gotten thirteen bucks for an old headband from Cris Williamson. So I said, "I'll throw in a kiss." From the back of the room, I heard, "Thirteen twenty-five."
This year, I predict, because I'm still feeling it from Santa Cruz, that by the end of the night we will all be bobbing for red clown noses in a big tub. Bring a towel.
February 01, 2006
And we're off!!
Saturday, January 28 we kicked it off in Long Beach to a sold old, to the rafters house. All systems were go, thanks to my excellent team, Tam and Michele and the StandOut producer, Andrea Meyerson! She also filmed the show for posterity - it's in the can - and we hope to have a tour documentary for you by 2007. After the show, NCLR and StandOut hosted a post-show lesbo schmooze fest which went on to the wee hours, as Andrea's partays often do.
Next day in San Diego, the Women's Chorus celebrated my 25th and the release of their first new CD. It was a matinee which I love because the older I get, the earlier my shows are - I'm aiming for the Grand Slam breakfast show at Denny's! Because the lights were brilliant, I didn't see the six women in the front row with L-Word red clown noses, or I would have tried to get them to snort them off during the show.
At the reception after I got to hang out with my niece, Madeliene, who is the only Clinton who has left the northern tundra of upstate New York. I told her her first joke when she was one day old. She asks me what it was.
Before going to Santa Cruz, I'm up in Denver with Urvashi who is here for business meetings. Quality time, dears, quality time. And we had to watch the sad state of the union together because it's too scary to do it alone.
Moment of silence for Coretta in the Black History Month. The shortest month and that's not right.
And Wendy Wasserstein.
She was funny.
January 19, 2006
Let's Get This Party Started!
At long last! It's about time to hit the road on my 25th Anniversary Tour. Let's start accumulating those frequent traveler miles! First stop - Long Beach, CA. The P.T. Barnum of production, Andrea Meyerson, is promising a sold out show! She's also the producer of Laughing Matters, that laugh riot documentary of some of my favorite lesbo comics, and Andrea is threatening to tape this opening show and make a documentary of the tour! Encourage her.
The dear dames at NCLR are majorly sponsoring our tour and I couldn't be happier. Well, maybe if White House "spokesman" Scott McClellan got long term laryngitis... . If you don't know about NCLR and all its works, check out their website. The Advocate, PlanetOut and AirAmerica are also getting the tour word out. Thanks to them and all things media.
I'm off to pack, my suitcase, cancel the paper and say a quick one to St. Christopher. For their year of preparation, many thanks to the hardest working booking agent in the bidness, Tam Martin, and to my publicist slash promoter Michele Karlsberg. I meant the slash.
Can't wait to see you on the road. Have I got some dish for you!
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