My new show, KNOCK KNOCK. WHO’S THERE? ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE is going to be a blast. And you can be part of it.
Help me write some knock-knock jokes for the show. You be fully compensated: 10% of the scientifically proven health benefits of laughter.
Historically knock-knock jokes were huge – if you’ll pardon the expression – during the Great Depression of the 1930s. The craze intensified after the election of Franklin Delano Roosevelt whom people either loved or hated fiercely. There were knock-knock contests, strangers told them to each other on the street, knock-knock shows on Broadway, orchestras performed them, merchants and political campaigns used them to sell their wares.
Knock-knocks were a brief, bright blast of relief for people in dark times.
We’ve all been greatly depressed of late. Ugh is our refrain. By writing knock-knocks you too can feel smart and pseudo-intellectual. Since no on can possibly guess the right answer, you’ll feel superior and also have a false belief that you’re smarter than the other person. That kind of fun is not just for the alt-white anymore.
I guarantee you’ll get hooked. Here’s some I’m working on:
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mike Pense. Pense who? Pense on who’s asking.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. Sessions who? You are Session asshole.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Donald Trump. Get the fuck off my porch.
Send me your knock-knocks. We’ll run them through the Groan-o-Meter out in the lab and if they pass our high standards, we’ll use them in the show. It’s participatory democracy at its hilarious best. It’s time to groan for the good.
And I know you have one for Betsy DeVos.
Please send all entries to: email@example.com. In the Subject line please add: Contest for KKWTZA