TITLE LXIX- The Washington Blade- 1/28/14

The Super Bowl High Holy Days approach, signaling the end of the Concussion Season.  Unless you’ve been under a rock, and I say that with some envy, you know the game between the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks will take place in Metlife Stadium, New Jersey, unless there’s another “traffic study” from Governor Conehead.  The Jets and the Giants RSVPed their regrets weeks ago.  Much has been made of Colorado and California, two states with legalized marijuana, thus The Stoner Bowl.

We’ve seen the effects on tennis players at the Australian Open of whatever is the polar opposite of the polar vortex:  passing out, cramping, vomiting, dehydration, Sharapova’s barks at only a raspy .02 decibels.  But apparently the Aussie organizers were unable to see the signs and ordered play to continue.  I have already ordered one of those neat ice vests for the summer!  We can only hope that the Polar Vortex Redux that is again sitting over the Northeast will be gone by Super Bowl game day.

But 2013 saw a remarkable thaw in the hard-packed perma-frost of homophobia in sports. What was once a glacial pace of change is moving as fast as actual glaciers are moving now.   Organizers and fans can see the effects.  According to OutSports, in 2013, seventy-seven athletes came out in their sports. Not in sad memoirs forty years later.  LGBT organizing through the Sports Projects Collaboration at NCLR and straight allies organizing through campaigns like “You Can Play”, to name a few, make playing out less of a career death wish.

Football is one of the last bastions of homophobia in sports.  It is also one of the most brute, blunt, homoerotic of sports.  Especially if you are watching on a friend’s 120-inch plasma flat-paneled TV.  Cup-less is in.  I’ve always thought players wear facemasks so they can’t kiss.  But change is happening in the NFL, even if it can only be gauged by the resistance to it.  Stories of locker room bullying, columns rationalizing those reigns of terror and harassment of straight players who speak out in support of LGBT causes are yellow flag infractions in the monolith of maleness.

As more and more players come out during their playing careers, I look forward to the coverage.  Sports commentators pride themselves on knowing what a player is thinking just by looking at them.  They are sports clairvoyants.  “You know what he’s thinking as he leans over his putter, Jim? He’s thinking he’s got to make the putt, to make the cut, so he has a chance at the prize money which he desperately needs for an operation for his four year old.”  If he is thinking that, he will not make the putt.  Why not sign up for Affordable Health Care?

But what if the golfer is an out and proud gay man? The sportscaster is a bit wary, perhaps clueless.  “You know what he’s thinking as he leans over his putter?” He pauses, looks worriedly to Jim,  “Is ‘putter’ okay?” Jim nods.  He continues, “He’s thinking, ‘Look at the color of these shoes! They looked fine at the hotel.  They totally fight with the putting green!’” I can’t wait.

After the Stoner Bowl confetti settles, and the Metlife zeppelin leaking NJ hot air pot vape, heads back to its mooring, the coverage turns to the Olympic Games in Sochi with Billie Jean King and other gay athletes leading the US delegation in the opening ceremonies.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, Putin has assured LGBT athletes they can have a safe, relaxed time if they don’t talk to the children.  All bets are off post-Olympics.

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